Lots of things going on right now.
All good, all deep, all time-consuming.
Woke this morning feeling quite low, although I couldn’t fathom why.
But after a serious brain scrubbing by my most fabulous shrink, it seems that feelings of unworthiness and inability have been slowly reinserting themselves into my poor little battered psyche.
Fortunately, my most fabulous shrink understood this and was able to talk me, gently but clearly, through this.
The end result being: I am my own conductor.
The orchestra is seated. All the instruments are there, ready. But without someone to lead them, they’re just going to make a bunch of racket. Lead them, however, and you decide who goes when, who is more important at any given moment, and how to get them all to play together without dumping a trombone on someone’s head or a bass on someone’s foot.
Not to say there wont be a sour note every once in a while, but it’s a helluva lot better than seeing if they can come up with an impromptu concerto without assistance.
Still with me?
We went and watched the Nutcracker ballet last night. Only two rows from the stage, I sat above the orchestra, the conductor’s white head bobbing in time to his orchestrating. The dancing was gorgeous, the miming beautiful, the gowns divine. I would go again and again and again. Thanks to Leftlion, I got to see it for free, too. Most excellent.
The Dr Who show at the Arena was not so much spectacular stage show as stupendous theme park show with characters. But the kids liked it…
I once had a professor who said, “Every day you wake up, you have the chance to decide what kind of person you want to be that day. Choose. Dont just wander through the day without deciding if you’re being the person you want to be.”
I had forgotten this much cherished saying.
So, now I’m choosing: I am my own conductor, and the band will start playing the way I tell them to.
Song: Careless Whisper by George Michael
Book: Anna Karenina by Tolstoy (This is going to be the book for a very long time).