A while back, I participated in the Buch Lab Symposium, #1. It was fascinating to read what others had written about being/being-with, someone butch and what it meant to them.
Symposium #2 has just been posted, and so I’ve posted the basics as well as the second question, which I go on to answer below.
WHAT IS THE BUTCH LAB SYMPOSIUM?
The Symposium is a cross between a blog carnival and a round-up, where participants write about a monthly topic and submit links to Butch Lab which are then recounted. Participants are requested to a) link to the Butch Lab Symposium in their post, b) reprint the roundup on their own blogs within five days, and c) commenting on the other participants’ entries would be an added bonus (let’s support each other eh?).
You do not need to be butch to participate, anyone is welcome to discuss their opinion.
The topic for the second Butch Lab Symposium is Butch Stereotypes, Cliches, and Misconceptions.
Here’s the writing prompt:
What do people think “butch” means? What are the stereotypes around being butch? What do people assume is true about you [or about your masculine of center friends], but actually isn’t? What image or concept do you constantly have to correct or fight against? How do you feel about these misconceptions? How do you deal with them? Do you respond to these stereotypes or cliches? How?
The misconception: Butch is a dirty word. Something less than, something too extraordinarily ‘other’ to be acceptable. Butch is threatening as an in-between, an indefinable and therefore unknown entity. Our hair dresser keeps trying to give S a softer haircut, until we explain that S identifies as butch, and expects to look butch. The hair dresser laughs and blushes a bit, but starts getting the cut right.
The truth: Butch is hot. Butch is cocky and shy and gorgeous and loving. Butch is an identity one can be proud of.
The misconception: Butch means wanting to be a man. Wanting to be every male stereotype, bundled up in a body that doesn’t quite ‘measure up.’ Butch means the next logical step is to transition, because just being butch isn’t good enough. Butch means lesbian–nothing in between, no other option. Butch means strong, no matter what, no matter when. It means not being able to show your emotions, not being able to cry, not being able to feel vulnerable.
The truth: Butch is human. Butch is just as complicated emotionally, physically, mentally, as every human being on the planet, but can struggle under the misconception of super-human untouchable strength, and therefore feel even more isolated because of the onus placed on them to behave as though they are never vulnerable.
The misconception: Butches are always tops. They are always dominant. They are hard, tough, unrepentant. They can always fix your car, fix the sink, fix the windows, fix the gas leak. They always know what they are doing with or without directions, and never need help with anything. And they always take control.
The truth: Butches are people, and as such, have as wide a scope of abilities and desires and identities as the rest of the human race. Sometimes a butch likes a femme in control, something they are shy and sensitive and soft. I’m a femme, but I have far more patience for putting together the fiddly stuff like the computers, vac, etc when they are taken apart. I can change a tire, check my own oil and take out the garbage. And sometimes, I like to be the one on top. And my butch is okay with that.
The misconception: Butch women must be overweight, must be bigger, because bigger is less feminine and therefore more butch. They must dress in men’s clothes and hide anything remotely feminine about their bodies.
The truth: while it is true that many, many butch women wear men’s clothing (and look damn hot), it is unnecessary to hide the female bits–I LOVE the female bits! I am a lesbian, after all. And overweight doesn’t mean less feminine, it just means the possibility of health problems and the possibility of low self-esteem. (I say this as an overweight femme, not some skinny bitch who has no clue.)
I don’t believe S lets anyone define butch for her, nor does she allow their ideas of butch to effect her behaviour in any way. They call her sir, she smiles and continues her day–it makes her laugh, but never does she feel less than because she’s butch. And I, well, I find her extra amazing because she is butch, and never compromises who she is, but rather allows society around her to adapt to her as a person, thereby learning just how wonderful butch really is.
First kudos to the post which I heartily agree with. Second, the discussion in comments is very interesting. I know that there were plenty of butches of all ages when I was in my 20s and 30s (1980 – 90s) but there was also an upswing in people transitioning. Butch started looking like a hold over, like something a big quaint and old-fashioned, at least to those who were embracing the concept of transitioning (and those who were attracted to FTMs). The Butch label has also taken a hit because of the stereotypes we’re all arguing against. I know I was reluctant in my early 30s to re-embrace my earlier butchness because there was a strong expectation in my community that butches embodied a lot of the less favorable characteristics of masculinity, as defined in this culture: sexist attitudes, chauvinism, emotionally inaccessible, etc. That wasn’t an identity I could relate to, so I avoided it for another 10 years.
I know now that like most stereotypes, though they may have started from a grain of truth, they don’t define all persons of a certain category. Butches are not only human, they are diverse.
The generational differences are interesting, and may have substance beyond the different terms. On the other hand, each generation tries to differentiate itself from the previous ones, and taking on new styles, labels and ways of communicating are common techniques. I haven’t met a lot of ‘studs’ in person, but have seen a lot of tweets from self-proclaimed studs on twitter. I’m hoping that small grouping is not completely representative, because I’ve seen a lot of very sexist and chauvinistic things being proudly tweeted. Again, I’m sure this isn’t the way all studs feel. And, actually, as I think back, maybe the sexist, chauvinist, aping-straight-male-culture thing is a right of passage, a part of the process of claiming one’s masculinity and learning what to do with it. Bad role models for masculinity are all around us, so it’s not hard to understand that would be the first stop for many of us. I’m just hoping it isn’t the last stop.
We noticed the upswing in butch women transitioning, or at least considering doing so, as well. And it makes me sad. It’s like being butch wasnt good enough, wasnt okay. It still makes me sad to think there are butches who feel it must be an either or on the spectrum rather than a place of it’s own.
I’ve met a few studs, and it seems to me they often follow the cultural stereotypes they are brought up with, which I suppose we all do to some extent. With age will come wisdom, I hope.
Very true about generations working to differentiate themselves, and perhaps another clue as to where we are headed–they may be working on stereotypes, but with time they will come to see who they truly are.
One can hope.
Thanks so much for commenting. Always love your blogs.
Pingback: Butchlab Symposium Roundup « Letters from Titan
Pingback: » Butch Lab Symposium Number Two! » Made Of Words Made Of Words
Pingback: Butch Lab’s Symposium #2 is Up! : Sugarbutch Chronicles
“Butch is human” — this is at the core of all the symposium writing, I think.
The comments about butch as a generational thing are really interesting. I went to a women’s college where there were a lot of androgynous dykes and transmen, and there were definitely murmurs of conversation on campus about how that related to butches. I think some older straight alums were still just trying to get over the fact that there are out lesbians on campus, while some older butch alums were decrying the trend to transition instead of claim butch. (That’s a simplification of course, but has some truth to it).
I see a lot more butches/studs of color in my generation (mid-20s) than white butches (based on observation, not conversation). I see a lot of older white butches but much fewer my age. I’m not sure why that is, but I sure do love those older butches (of all colors)!
“some older butch alums were decrying the trend to transition instead of claim butch. (That’s a simplification of course, but has some truth to it).”
I have wondered about this myself, but it’s a difficult topic to bring up without sounding like I’m judging, which I’m not.
I love them older butches too.
)
Yes, yes, yes. Exactly. I love the last paragraph about society adapting to her instead of the other way around. As an ‘old school butch’, that’s been one of the most difficult things to learn for myself.
It’s hard to live with the idea that it is society which must adapt, not ourselves. I think society in generally (as a massive generalization) would be better off if people were just themselves, and the people around them had to accept them as is.
Yes. All of this!
As to the age of butches, and the andro trend in the younger generation (I’m 32), I actually have a theory…
I think butch is a two-step process. Most young women come out as gay first, and then adopt a more masculine presentation as they get older (relatively). It may have something to do with how butch is perceived even within queer society; at least, that’s the experience of most of my particular butches. So they come out twice, once as gay and then again as butch. That process just takes longer, so you see more butches in older populations because they’ve had time to get there.
Just my pet theory, but it makes sense to me.
Loved your post.
Hi Jolie,
What a great idea. Do you think the person they are when they are young is a ‘true’ version, or do you think they are butch but not comfortable coming out as such yet? That butch comes with gender acceptance?
I really like the idea. I think I knew many, many young butches (20 somethings) when I was just a child, but perhaps that was culturally acceptable then (I’m 34) whereas it’s more culturally acceptable to look like a Shane than to be truly butch.
Love your theory. Thank you for sharing it.
Ooh. You poked at my brain. I love it when you do that.
I’d be hesitant to say that the young version of themselves is not a “true” version. The young version of me was completely comfortable with being attracted to both men and women, and with the label “bisexual.” I’ve evolved significantly beyond that, but I don’t think I was ever not truly myself. Maybe it’s different for everyone. I’ll have to drag Rhett into the conversation and see what he thinks; having evolved from tomboy to butch to transman without leaving any of it behind.
Love it. This is why I love the Symposium!
I love a good brain poking!!
You know, you’re right. I was no less real in my 20′s than I am now, just less grown up about things. I guess I wonder with young butch women if they are intentionally hiding who they are out of a fear of being stereotyped. Or, perhaps they’re comfortable enough, and just evolve. Like most of us, I think.
Great point.
I’d love to hear Rhett’s view. The Symposium rocks.
Pingback: Symposium #2: Stereotypes, Cliches, & Misconceptions | Butch Lab
Pingback: Butch Lab Symposium #2–Misconceptions (via The Musings of a Lesbian Writer) « Rants, Raves & Rainbows
This is what I got when I googled:
~A “stud” is stereotypically used to describe a black/hispanic masculine lesbian, as most white masculine lesbians are considered “butch”. ~
So i guess by definition they are essentially the same thing. I’ve seen more androgynous lesbians than femme or butch ladies around NYC.
thanks to SHANE from the Lword.
A cultural re wording of the same concept. How awesome is that? A concept of inclusion, with the caveat of rewording for difference.
I see many more androgynous young women now than I did when I came out. (I’m 34 now). And all that worries me about that, is the possibility that young butch women, who identify as butch, will somehow feel even more on the fringe than they already do, given the prevalence of androgynous women attracted to other androgynous women. But, on the other hand, perhaps it’s always been that butch-femme is less frequent on the multi dimensional spectrum than those more in the middle of it.
there is a stereotype within our community among the younger generations. for example: If i ask my friends to go to this lesbian bar with me in the city – their response is “too many butches in there”. it’s true…We’ve always identified butch women as these manly older women – usually in their late 40′s and so on. Since there are so many names for different types of lesbians, butch nowadays is used to identify the older more masculine lesbians at bars who scope out the young femmes. So what we call the younger “version” of butch is – studs or the more common type of lesbians nowadays are the androgynous lesbians. I don’t know if it is different in other states or countries. It is very rare to find lesbians (of my generation) who identify as Butch.
I find this fascinating. So, is the basic definition of stud and butch the same? Are the qualities the same/similar? Is it merely a new word for an old concept? Or is it genuinely something different? Will studs grow up to be butches when theyr’e older?
Is it possible that butch, as I know it, is dying out, and as you say, becoming more androgynous? I would find this almost unbearably sad, as I find something so exceptionally wonderful, intense, special and erotic about butch women.
I wonder if we’ll find some young women who identify as butch, through the symposium?
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I value them.