In the interest of joining the conversation on gender, which is a topic of importance and interest to me, I am joining in this conversation, which is wizzing about the blogosphere. I hope you’ll join in as well. We can all learn from one another, and there are always people out there who need to read the words of inspiration and strength that come from conversations like these.
I am a femme. To me, butch is the other half of my equation.
There’s a swagger, a sureness, a sense of yeah, that’s who I am, so what? to her walk. A sense of comfort in her own body, of knowing who she is and what she wants out of life. A defiance of pronouns. An ability to take up space like a man, without every having to be one. She is in-between and everything, all at once.
There’s a definite feeling of safety when I’m with her. A feeling like I’m protected in the circle of her arms, and the world had better stay the hell away. And there’s nothing like going out–my femininity matched yin-like to her masculine yang, her ripped jeans to my swishy skirt, her black shiny shoes to my black heels.
To me, butch means strength of a more “masculine” variety (given the few words we have to deal with false gender binaries at the moment). But it also means a person who is strong, who doesn’t necessarily mind being a woman, but enjoys women all the more because she knows who she is and what she wants. It’s a butch who blushes and stammers when having to buy tampons, but could quite happily live in a hardware store.
Butch is the willingness to stand up to society and not pass. It’s the belief in the fact you can dress and be the person you want to be, no matter what the media presents as the “correct” type of woman. It’s a deep, intense, clear knowledge of what makes a butch happy and the willingness to let the outside reflect the inside.
It’s the definite sense that there is so, so much more to the person with the short hair, tattoos and muscled body than you will ever know.
Butch is boxers, sports bras, gym socks, heavy boots, hiking, concerts, motorcycles, and sports. It is protectiveness of family and loved ones, of her partner, of her kids. It’s tender and tough, soft and hard. It’s a take-charge, let-me-give-you-what-you desire attitude that makes women weak-kneed. It’s a let-me-show-you-what-a-butch-likes attitude that makes women wet with desire.
And it’s all of those things I love about butch.